dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
