I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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