The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize
