But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Randomize
