I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
