i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Randomize
