I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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