all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize
