he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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