I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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