Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Randomize
