I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
