I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
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