I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
