Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
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