Please, let me fuck your mom
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
