I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Randomize
