I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
