i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Randomize
