gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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