Cold hands, warm shart.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
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