fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
