If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
My vagina just recognized that song.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
