i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
