Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Randomize
