your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Randomize