Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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