I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Randomize
