I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
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