I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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