Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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