My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Randomize
