Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
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