I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Randomize
