I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
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