WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
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