We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I don't want my vagina anymore.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
