I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
