I never want to see another naked old woman again.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
Randomize
