It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
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I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
it's like iHOP with fire
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
My bed smells like the plague
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
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