oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
our cab driver is having phone sex.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize