420 ftw
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
How's work?
Spinning.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
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