Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize
