i would punch a child for taco bell
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize