and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Randomize
