I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
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