Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Randomize
