need another drink. this is the easiest way
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Randomize
