there's paper in my vomit.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Randomize
