In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
