Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
