Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
