At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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