There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
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