He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Randomize
