I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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