i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
