that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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