Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Randomize
